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Romance Academy Taster Session

UNBREAKABLE: without compromise

This is a basic introductory session both to the Romance Academy and to supporting your young people in approaching the hot topics of sex, sexuality and relationships. The Romance Academy 12 week course is built on Biblical wisdom and doesn’t contain Biblical references or direct Christian teaching. We believe that all good news is God’s news and all young people should have the opportunity to explore the importance of stable and faithful relationships. In our experience this has lead some young people to ask the deeper questions around faith. In recognition of the different settings this taster session will be used in, we have added discussion questions suitable if you are running this session in a discipleship setting.

AIM:

Our aims for this session are:

  • For the young people to explore making choices without compromising.
  • For the young people to consider the difference that following Jesus makes in helping us set the right goals and boundaries for our different friendships and relationships.

OUTCOME:

It is our hope that the positive outcomes for the young people going through this session will be:

  • Increased confidence in talking about gender, sexuality and relationship issues in a Church youth setting.
  • Increased awareness of interest God takes in all aspects of our life and the help and guidance he offers.
  • Increased trust in the youth leader’s ability to handle these ‘hot topics’ sensitively and wisely.

EQUIPMENT:

  • Post-it notes
  • Pens
  • Large sheets of paper
  • Balloons
  • Rolls of cling-film
  • A question box (or object to collect the post-it questions).
  • UNBREAKABLE BANDS (if you want!) Each band costs £1.50 To find out more about discounts for bulk buy or to order either visit our website www.romanceacademy.org or email us on info@romanceacademy.org.

WARM-UP ACTIVITY: ASK ANYTHING

As the young people arrive, ask them to write any question they may have about love, life and relationships onto a post-it and pop it in the question box for later.

THEMED GAME: ‘ONCE YOU POP YOU CAN’T STOP!’

Divide the group into teams. With only balloons and a roll of cling-film, they have to make a chair that can hold the weight of someone in their team!

LEADER’S PROMPT:

‘Who would have thought that you could have made a seat that is solid and strong enough to hold someone’s weight, just out of balloons and cling-film! On the whole, we don’t spend too much time in life worrying about whether the chairs we are about to sit on will collapse or not. We just tend to have faith that it will be OK as we throw ourselves onto them. But if you have experienced sitting on a broken chair, then you might well be more aware of checking that the chair is fine before you sit down...because you know only too well how much it hurt when the chair broke.

The purpose of tonight’s session is to get us thinking about what goes into making a relationship work. Some people in this group might have only ever known great, loving and strong relationships and because of that might not have thought much about them. Other people in this group may have been involved in really broken and painful relationships and wonder what relationships that work are like. The chances are that we have all experienced good and not-so good relationships in our lives. Let’s use what we have learnt so far in life to help others and let’s be willing to listen ourselves.

So that everyone gets the most out of tonight and goes home feeling supported and listened to, I want us to agree to be the following boundaries. (You as the leader will know how to do this! Maybe refer to the boundaries you always use or ask the group to make up new ones).’

GROUP DISCUSSION: ‘BREAK IT DOWN’

Read out the statements below and invite the young people stand either side of the room to show their response and then justify their reasons. You may prefer to write the 4 statements on large sheets of paper and give the group time to scribble their responses all over the sheets. If you do it this way, make sure you get some feedback.

  1. I can do whatever I want.
  2. On the whole, the Bible paints a negative picture of sex.
  3. Being a virgin is more important to Christians than to people who aren’t Christians.
  4. Relationships are private and no one else’s business.
  5. Porn is a good source of sex education.
  6. Sex is an itch that you just have to scratch!

HONEST TALK (feedback questions):

(You don’t need to use all these questions. They are to act as a prompt to help you stimulate discussion.)

  • Is talking about sex a good thing to do?
  • If you can do anything you want, how do you know what you should or shouldn’t be doing?
  • People have different attitudes to relationships and sex, why do you think this is?
  • Is sex a big deal? If ‘yes’, why? If ‘no’, why not?
  • Do you think that guys and girls have different attitudes to relationships / sex?
  • Do you think you have the same ideas about relationships and sex as your parents/carers do?
  • Does it matter what people think or believe about sex? (You will need to highlight the fact that everyone is entitled to form and own their own opinion, but that it is also important to challenge unhealthy or damaging beliefs / habits. It is possible to respectfully disagree with someone’s point of view.)
  • How important is it to know what God’s ideas about relationships and sex are?

TEACHING ACTIVITY: UNBREAKABLE

FOR THE LEADER:

Hopefully the last activity would have raised some interesting questions and issues that the young people are facing. This activity helps them to unpack what making a healthy choice really means. Young people understand that smoking, taking drugs, eating fast food all day have negative impacts on their health, but often struggle to use the same reasoning when it comes to choices around relationships and sex. Many young people understand the physical health risks of STIs etc, but this activity is about helping the young people unpack the impact the choices they make to their mental, emotional and relational health.

Ask the group to call out words they think of when they hear the word: HEALTHY

Tell the group that in this activity they will be asked to think about whether the following things might affect the health of someone’s heart, mind or relationship.

Ask the group to put the following statements in categories showing how healthy or unhealthy that choice or behaviour about sex is. Some of these statements are more light hearted and others more serious. Make sure you keep asking the students why they have come to their conclusions about what is or isn’t healthy behaviour.

CATEGORY 1: healthy (‘hard!’ or any local slang meaning good!)

CATEGORY 2: neither (?)

CATEGORY 3: unhealthy (‘peak!’ or any local slang meaning bad!)

  • Being curious about sex
  • Looking at pornography
  • Thinking about sex
  • Falling in love
  • Going after your best friend’s ex
  • Flirting
  • Having a boy/girl friend at 15
  • Snuggling up to a young person in the youth group/school when you already have a boy/girl friend
  • Keeping the fact that you have had sex a secret
  • Posting sexy pictures of you and your friends on facebook
  • Getting married
  • Still being a virgin
  • Kissing in public
  • Getting drunk or high
  • Asking questions about things you don’t understand

SHORT REFRESHMENT BREAK

GROUP APPLICATION: HOT TOPICS

LEADER’S PROMPT:

‘At the start of the session you asked the young people to write down questions that they might have about

sex, sexuality and relationships. It is a good idea if you have one leader who can look through all of these as

the session is running and drawing out themes of what the group are curious or concerned about. Now is your chance to answer the questions you feel you can answer. When answering questions remember:

  1. You don’t need to know everything.
  2. Try not to give long answers.
  3. It is good to share your own experience but be sure that you are doing so for the right motives.

Personal stories are not to make us look like comedians or to act as a bit of therapy for us. They are to

help us demonstrate ways of working through difficult issues or to highlight lessons we have learnt

along the way. If you are unsure of whether to share something person, why not check it out with a

fellow member of the team first?

  1. Encourage the young people to think for themselves, rather than to memorise what you say!
  2. Be reassuring in your tone and confident in the way you talk about things like sex. As far as you can, use the correct words to describe what you are talking about (i.e avoid just calling sex ‘it’!)

TAKE AWAY: UNBREAKABLE BANDS

LEADER’S MOMENT:

‘In the first week of the Romance Academy course, young people are invited to sign the Support and Sexual Delay pledge. At the bottom of the pledge there is a space for them to write down the names of people who will support them in choosing a healthy and responsible approach to their lives.

Divide the group in guys and girls and talk them through the Unbreakable bands. Close the session with handing round the bands and inviting the young people to support each other as they choose to live and love without compromise.

GIRLS- Brainstorm with the girls the lies that society tells girls about who they are, how they should be and what they are if they are virgins or choosing not to have sex. Here is a list we have come up with:

  • Unlovable?
  • Unfashionable?
  • Unpopular?
  • Unsexy?
  • Unusual?
  • Nah, mate…
  • Unbreakable:
  • Not for sale. Not to be used. Not to be pressured.
  • Free to be me.

BOYS - Brainstorm with the boys the lies that society tells girls about who they are, how they should be and what they are if they are virgins or choosing not to have sex. Here is a list we have come up with:

  • Unable?
  • Unintelligent?
  • Underachiever?
  • Unmanned?
  • Unclean?
  • Nah, mate…
  • Unbreakable:
  • Not for sale. Not to be used. Not to be pressured.
  • Free to be me.

 

To find out more about the Romance Academy:

visit their website: www.romanceacademy.org

email the team: info@romanceacademy.org

phone: 0208 416 7344

address: c/o Holy Trinity Church, 1a Headstone Drive, Wealdstone, HA3 5QX

 

For details of Romance Academy training and vision evenings in 2011 click HERE