Surely this is what youth work is all about. The reason we run clubs, plan events, spend hours in preparation, build relationships with young people, sacrifice our sleep on residentials and run up our phone bill ringing round to check they know what's happening is because we want them to become part of the church. Well yes and no. When Jesus said, 'Follow me', I'm not sure that his aim was to get us to spend a couple of hours a week in a church building. His intention was that first and foremost we have a relationship with him. Of course, we are also called into relationship with other Christians and, using the coal fire analogy, if we try to go it alone there's a danger that we may grow cold. But it's important that we remember that what Jesus wants is a relationship with young people, not an exemplary attendance record at church.
Let's be honest. There are some very good reasons for wanting young people to be part of the church.
But equally there are some bad reasons for wanting young people to go along to church services.
We need to be honest about our motives, our church and our young people. It may be that most people in your church just won't be able to cope if your teenagers are a bit unruly and don't toe the line. It may be that some members of your group can cope with your youth group sessions, but will be pushed away if it's expected that they go to church as well. Perhaps instead of ‘are they going to church?' the key questions are: Are they growing in their faith and in their knowledge of Jesus? Do they know older Christians who can model faith, and inspire and encourage them? Do they have opportunities for worship and prayer that they can engage with, and to take communion? Are they getting biblical teaching that is relevant to them and challenges them to go on with Jesus? Do they have more mature Christians to turn to when they face difficulties? Do they have opportunities for mission? If the current life of your group means that the answer to even two or three of those questions is yes, then appreciate what they already have instead of thinking that they would automatically be better off if they were going to church regularly.
When we talk about getting unchurched young people to go to church, we're usually talking about them attending church services. But it's important to remember that the church is not the building, it's the people and there is more to the life of the church than church services. Think about ways in which you can introduce young people to other members of the church and get them involved in the life and work of the church community. Each church is different, so you will need to think about what's appropriate for your situation, but there are some ideas below. Here are my top three tips for getting unchurched young people to church, and a few other ideas to try.
Join something new yourself
When was the last time you went to a new group where you didn't know anyone? I have recently got involved with a local cycling group. Part of the London Cycling Campaign, they organise bike rides on the first Sunday of every month to which anyone is invited. I signed up to their email group because I love cycling, wanted to meet some like-minded people and liked the idea of discovering more local cycling routes. But it took me ages to go along to one of the rides. Would they all be expert cyclists who had amazing bikes and cycled really fast? Would they be snobby and elitist looking down on people like me who didn't have all the right gear? Would people talk to me or would I end up cycling along in silence while people had animated conversations all around me? Eventually after several months of getting regular reminders of their rides, I took the plunge and it was, of course, absolutely fine. They are lovely people who don't expect everyone to be an expert cyclist. Some of the guys carry an abundance of pumps and puncture repair kits to help out anyone who gets into difficulty. They have one person at the front to lead the ride and another at the back to keep the stragglers company and to make sure that no one gets left behind. They are easy to talk to so all that angst was unnecessary. But until I went along, how was I to know?
Going along to something new such as an exercise class or sports team will give you some insights into what your young people may feel about going to church if they have never done it before. Feelings of anxiety and apprehension, not knowing the 'rules' or customs of the group, coming across jargon that you don't understand, not knowing people's names or feeling out of place are all experiences that you may encounter. Add in the fact that you may well be more confident about talking to other people, and that you are probably interacting with your peers rather than people one or two generations above you and you'll get some insight into why young people have to be pretty motivated to want to come along to church! Having experienced it for yourself, think through how you can overcome some of those barriers for your group.
Remember relationships are the key
Enlist some adult members of the church who will make a point of talking to young people when they come along to services. Look for people who are naturally gifted at talking to young people. They don't have to be young and trendy - they just need to have a genuine interest in teenagers. Often parents whose children have just gone off to university are worth approaching because they are bound to have more of a rapport with young people. Invite them to one or more of your group sessions or events. Making the effort to come into the young people's territory will speak volumes. And then tell those people when you are planning to get members of the group along to the service so they can make a point of coming to chat to them afterwards. Young people often fear rejection, and so they will subconsciously try to provoke it so they can say 'I told you so'.
Having a few friendly faces will counteract the inevitable people who will turn round if they giggle, or look disapproving if they stand up and sit down at the wrong times.
Allow them to contribute
When I was a teenager, there was a rule that you weren't allowed to contribute anything to the life of the church until you were baptised. I think that's a big mistake. Jesus sent the disciples out in twos to learn from doing; he didn't check that they had all the right doctrines in place before they went. Young people don't want to be passive consumers, sitting back and letting everyone else do things around them. They want to contribute, to create, to participate in the life of the church. So get them doing sketches and readings, taking part in interviews, playing music, creating PowerPoint presentations, making art for services which can be displayed or scanned in and projected - there are lots of different things they can do. It's a way of showing young people that they are needed and appreciated. It enables them to be involved in the work of the Kingdom rather than just watching other people do it. Give them a chance to rehearse in the building and make sure they know what their cues are. But don't expect or demand perfection. Give them space to be themselves.
Other ideas
Above all, make sure that young people know that they are accepted and loved even if they never go to church. Introducing church services to your programme can make them feel that there's an ulterior agenda to the group. They need to know that you are on their side even if they never set foot inside a church building.
Jenny Baker